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You are watching: When someone else spanks your child

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In Brutally ethical series, Kelly Wallace tackles provocative parenting concerns

A brand-new show on NBC explores what happens when someone slaps another person"s son

Parents say the disciplining a stranger"s child in public is a tough speak to


Editor’s Note: Kelly Wallace is beer-selection.com’s digital correspondent and editor-at-large covering family, career and also life. Review her other columns and follow her reports at beer-selection.com Parents and also on Twitter.


snapshot yourself through members that your extended family, coming with each other to celebrate a birthday, once one of your family members members self-controls your child by slapping him or her in the face.

i’m pretty certain if that occurred in my household, it would certainly be a race in between my husband and also me to view who can get come that family member very first and tell castle in no uncertain terms exactly how much we didn’t evaluate what castle did.

The idea of disciplining one more person’s kid is absolutely a provocative concern in the modern-day world the parenting, where we have tendency to take it every parenting decision means more seriously than our typically much more laid-back parents did in the ‘60s and ‘70s.

The ide is likewise the storyline because that a NBC series premiering following week referred to as “The Slap,” based upon an Australian novel and also television routine by the same name.


despite the series looks compelling, the totality notion that slapping or hitting an additional person’s son tends to count on whether you support physical technique yourself, based on my an extremely unscientific sampling that opinions indigenous mothers and fathers throughout the country and in my social networks.

“I would not spank my children,” said Janeane Davis, a mother of four and founder that the blog Janeane’s World. “I carry out not spank mine children. I carry out not think someone else should.”

The cultural, generational and regional roots the spanking

Jennifer Bosse, a mother of two and also freelance writer that blogs at defining My Happy, states she would never spank nor ever permit another parent to spank her son as a form of discipline, “regardless that circumstances.”


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Mother's work - then and now


however Laura Beyer, a mom of 2 grown children, claims she has “spanked, offered time-outs, every little thing it has actually taken to regain manage of the situation.”

take physical discipline off the table, and also you get an ext agreement than disagreement indigenous parents the disciplining other people’s children is not just OK; sometimes, the a necessity.

David Le Roy, a father of 2 boys and owner that a technology firm in Chicago, claims he’s had to execute it pretty often.

“A stern talking-to is as far as I would go unless the child was about to either harm themselves or who else,” claimed Le Roy, who developed a Facebook team for African-American fathers in 2013.

the talked about times once his friends were over and also their kids were “buck wild.” He had to raise his voice, give them stern warnings and also inform the parent of your child’s behavior, that said.

children behaving badly: when old rule of discipline no longer use

“Some (parents) got it well and got off the couch and did something. One parent told me that this is just how their daughter expresses themselves and also that she is eccentric. Not in my house, LOL,” Le Roy wrote in one email.




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that can obtain messy, though, specifically when various other parents take concern with friend doling the end the discipline to their kids.

Beyer remembers the time she was date someone through an “out of manage ‘Jerry Springer-type’ of 9-year-old” that would “kick, hit, punch and outright disrespect her father.”

The first time she had actually to step in, she called the girl she would take her mobile away and also put the in her room.

The relationship couldn’t quite weather the stress, overload of the daughter’s behavior and also the discipline she feel she necessary to administer, said Beyer, that West Allis, Wisconsin.

Brutally Honest: What if girlfriend don’t like your kids’ friends?

“It led to a the majority of dissension in between us and led to an ultimate breakup since he outright refused to take obligation for she upbringing, constantly stating the was her mother’s fault concerning her behaviors,” she added.

Tracey Koch of Lewiston, Idaho, claimed her husband once took a toy from a little boy that was using it come hurt other kids at their house, and also the little boy’s mommy didn’t talk to her for a while, return she never mentioned the incident.

“I think it bothers people to have actually someone rather punish their child. However, they don’t want to necessarily admit it,” claimed the mom of two and nurse practitioner.


add me come the group of parents that doesn’t want to recognize that the rubs me the wrong means if and also when someone else tries to self-control my child. I recognize it shouldn’t, yet for part reason, that does.

Ego is component of it, no doubt.

Rhonda Woods, a mother of three, believes that if you space going to technique someone else’s child, the circumstances must be considered, and the self-control has to be defined.

Brutally Honest: average girls are obtaining younger

once her kids have friend over, under her supervision, she treats and disciplines lock the means she would if they to be her own kids.

“I tell all of my kids’ friends, ‘When you are at my house, you room my kid,’ ” stated Woods, a real estate certified dealer in brand-new Milford, Connecticut. As soon as there is an issue, she will notify the children of any kind of infraction, explain why it to be wrong and aid them problem-solve to number out ways not to execute it in the future.

“I will admit that this isn’t always done with an also level tone to my voice.”

What gets maybe the most dicey, countless parents say, is when you space in a public setup and girlfriend are confronted with even if it is to discipline the child of someone you don’t know.

Bosse, the mom of two young boys, finds this the most an overwhelming situation to evaluate by far.

There to be a time, she said, when one more child repetitively bullied among her boys.

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“After watching and waiting because that the other parent to step in, I ultimately had to walk end there and also tell the boy it was not okay,” Bosse said.

“I was very frustrated by the situation, due to the fact that I didn’t feel favor it to be my location to action in and speak to the child, yet at the same time, i couldn’t enable my kid to be bullied that way.”

Davis, of Janeane’s World, said that if a child necessary to be disciplined in a windy setting, she would say something come the parent quietly therefore the child might not listen it.

“I would certainly not discipline another person’s child if the parent was present,” she added. “If the parent chose not come or might not self-control her child, ns would eliminate myself and also my family from the situation.”

Woods has said things to children who are misbehaving in public, even if their parents are ideal there.

“I firmly think it takes a community. Most civilization are ready to was standing by and judge and not help.”

Do friend think that OK to discipline one more person’s child? Share your thoughts v Kelly Wallace ~ above Twitter or beer-selection.com living on Facebook.